It’s right there, printed at the top of the Monroney (or window sticker if you don’t like to get fancy); “LARGEST INTERIOR OF ANY 1/2-TON TRUCK.” Big, bold, in-your-face bragging. I’M BIG SO RESPECT ME.
That’s what this truck tries to say. It’s the Titan for goodness sakes. And while driving it, you feel it. I constantly felt myself warning other drivers to watch out, I was bigger than they were. Don’t cut me off, I’m HUGE. Over and over I was the king of the road and if you weren’t with me, you were against me. And for that, I had the right to crush you. That is, until I drove into a parking lot and clogged the whole thing up with a 12-point turn just trying to get into a normal size space, not to mention trying to get out.
This truck’s just too big for a city truck. It was a royal pain to drive on the small streets near my house, and while parking I often day-dreamed of those guys with the orange markers you see bringing in planes at the airport. That’s pretty much what you need for anything but the most Wal-Mart of parking lots.
And that’s the rub for this truck. I can’t seem to find who the proper owner is. I don’t see it being the old farmer or gritty construction worker, they seem to proud to not buy American. And it’s not the urban warrior, as it’s just not practical if you don’t need it every day for your job. To complicate things, is the price. $38,255. That’s a lot for any blue-collar worker who just wants a nice truck, and so I’m left imagining it’s only bought by the occasional sub-contractor or foreman, who knows he needs a truck to fit in, wants a touch of luxury and features, knows he’s never going to put a load of gravel in the back, but needs to store about 23 pairs of sunglasses while letting his kids watch Barney re-runs on the rear-seat DVD player. I must be wrong because I see these occasionally, but who are these people buying them?
They must be people who live in the suburbs. That’s all I can imagine. Big house, big garage, big parking lots in front of CostCo and the Olive Garden. 3 kids sitting in the back pacified by the entertainment system, lots and lots of flair to brag to the neighbors about. And trust me, this truck has flair. (disclaimer: I actually really like the well-thought out and convenient features I’m calling flair. But for the sake of the review, I’m going to act like it’s a button on the lapel of a Chotchkie’s waiter).
The flair:
- A interesting and clever little cubby hole on the driver side at the rear of the truck bed. Requires a key to get in, and about the size of a large glovebox. Not sure what you put in there, but I like it just the same.
- Four ceiling mounted, drop-down, cubby spaces. Including one for the sunglasses in front of the vanity lights. I have no idea what you need so many for, but it’s great use of space so why not.
- Drop-down DVD screen, with ceiling mounted controls and wireless headphones and a remote. I’m not sure what the point of a remote is when nobody is ever more than 7 inches from the controls, but if you can, you should.
- The rear seats not only fold down to create a nice platform, but they also fold up providing access to small plastic boxes, complete with stretchy netting which proves it is really useful and versatile.
- Locking tailgate. I can imagine many uses for this, but the best ones involve a three-legged donkey, a quart of motor oil and a Bible.
- Hydraulic lowering and raising tailgate. Makes it easy to lower and raise. It never slams down when your kid opens it unsuspectingly while you’re still untying your new motorcycle and using the tailgate as a wheel stop.
- Triple Big Gulp Holder. Immediately beside the gear shift is a standard cup holder, but right in front of that is a large open cubby hole with a slide out separater. If you lived through the 80’s, you know this has one purpose and one purpose only: the Triple Big Gulp. Filled with either Mountain Dew or contraband alcohol.
- I’m not sure if this is a feature or not, but comfort seating for 5 feels a touch excessive. Without a doubt it has more room in the backseats than anything I’ve ever ridden in. No question.
The overall driving experience was actually pretty good. It was just hard. You had to really be ready to drive somewhere in this thing or else you just got frustrated and annoyed. On the freeway it was smooth and quiet, but hard to see and change lanes. The manufacturer says 14-18 mpg, but I call B.S., as I drove 200 miles on the freeway, and 150 in the city, and still only got 14 mpg for the tank. Which, by the way was $70. OMG $70. 3.5 stars.
Album: 2007-nissan-titan
